Jonathan Haidt on Kids and Screens

Over the past decade, many parents have noticed a troubling pattern: children and teens seem more anxious, more distracted, and less socially connected—despite spending more time than ever online. One of the leading voices examining this issue is social psychologist Jonathan Haidt.

Haidt has spent years researching how smartphones and social media affect young people’s mental health, and his findings are both sobering and urgent. His work connects rising rates of anxiety, depression, and self-harm among adolescents to the widespread adoption of digital technology—especially social media.

At Harbour Family Counselling, we hear from parents every day who are trying to navigate this digital landscape with their kids. Haidt’s work offers both clarity and direction. In this article, we’ll summarize his perspective and share practical steps parents can take to support their children in building a healthier relationship with screens.

Haidt’s Position on Screens and Mental Health

Jonathan Haidt’s research points to a sharp increase in mental health issues among teens—especially girls—starting around 2012, which is also when smartphones and social media became widely adopted. He refers to this period as the “great rewiring of childhood.”

According to Haidt, the biggest concern isn’t just the amount of time kids spend on screens, but the type of engagement. Passive scrolling, constant comparison, and online social dynamics—especially on platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat—can leave kids feeling isolated, inadequate, and anxious.

He notes that younger adolescents, whose brains are still developing critical emotional and social skills, are especially vulnerable. Instead of spending time face-to-face, forming real-world friendships, or taking healthy social risks, kids are increasingly drawn into digital feedback loops.

Haidt isn’t anti-technology, but he believes that society has handed over powerful tools to children without proper safeguards. His research urges a cultural shift in how we think about screen use—and a more active role for parents, schools, and communities in setting limits.

What Parents Can Do

Haidt encourages a proactive and protective approach to screen use, especially in the early adolescent years. His recommendations align with what we share at Harbour Family Counselling: connection, boundaries, and open conversation are essential.

Here are some practical ways to apply his insights at home.

1. Delay Social Media Use

Haidt strongly recommends delaying access to social media until at least age 16. The earlier a child starts using these platforms, the more likely they are to experience anxiety, poor sleep, and exposure to harmful content.

Instead of focusing on what your child might miss, focus on what they’ll gain: more time for real-world friendships, hobbies, school engagement, and emotional development. Waiting gives them time to build a stronger sense of self before entering the highly performative world of social media.

2. Create Tech-Free Zones

Designate areas in your home where screens are not allowed—like bedrooms, bathrooms, and the dinner table. These boundaries protect rest, reduce distraction, and promote connection.

Sleep, in particular, is often compromised by late-night phone use. Haidt’s research shows that screen time before bed disrupts sleep quality and increases vulnerability to depression. Charging devices outside the bedroom is a simple but powerful shift.

3. Model Healthy Tech Use

Kids watch what we do. If we’re glued to our phones during dinner or checking emails at the park, we’re silently teaching them what’s normal.

Haidt encourages parents to model boundaries around tech: set times to unplug, put the phone away during family time, and be present in the moment. Not only does this support your child’s habits—it strengthens your connection, too.

4. Prioritize Offline Experiences

Encourage sports, clubs, outdoor play, creative hobbies, and in-person hangouts. Real-world experiences help kids develop confidence, social skills, and emotional resilience—all of which buffer against the challenges of the digital world.

Haidt often points to the drop in unsupervised play and face-to-face interaction as another factor contributing to rising anxiety. Giving kids opportunities to navigate social dynamics in person—rather than through a screen—helps them grow stronger and more adaptable.

5. Keep the Conversation Going

Rather than simply setting rules, involve your child in ongoing conversations about screens, emotions, and mental health. Ask open-ended questions like:

• How do you feel after using your phone for a long time?

• What do you think makes a good online friend?

• Have you ever seen something online that made you uncomfortable?

Creating this kind of open dialogue builds trust. It also gives your child space to reflect, share, and come to their own insights about what’s healthy and what isn’t.

Where We Are Now

Awareness around screen time and mental health is growing, thanks in part to voices like Jonathan Haidt. More parents are asking questions. More schools are discussing digital literacy. And more kids themselves are noticing that their online habits don’t always make them feel good.

Still, we have a long way to go. There’s pressure to fit in, fear of missing out, and the reality that so much of modern life is online. But as Haidt emphasizes, it’s not too late to make changes. And the best place to start is at home.

At Harbour Family Counselling, we work with families to understand the emotional impact of technology and help create home environments where kids can feel seen, safe, and supported. If your child is struggling with screen use, anxiety, or emotional regulation, family counselling can provide the tools you need to reconnect and reset.

Conclusion

Jonathan Haidt’s research offers an urgent wake-up call—and a hopeful path forward. He shows us that kids aren’t broken. They’re overwhelmed by a digital world they were never meant to navigate alone.

As parents, we can help. By setting limits, staying curious, and leading with presence, we give our kids a stronger foundation to stand on—both online and off. You don’t need to have all the answers. You just need to be in it with them. And that’s what they’ll remember most.

Counsellors in Victoria, BC

We are counsellors in Victoria, BC. Choose one of our therapists who feels like the best fit for you and your family, and book a free consultation call so we can get you started. Let’s take the next step together toward clarity, calm, and connection right where it matters most.