Supporting Your Parent Through MAiD While Caring for Yourself
The option of Medical Assistance in Dying (MAiD) is becoming more familiar to Canadians, and many families are finding themselves facing it in very personal ways. For an adult child, the experience of having a parent choose MAiD can bring a mix of emotions that are difficult to carry. It can feel sudden and overwhelming, or it can unfold slowly over time. Either way, the process asks a great deal from those left behind. Supporting a parent through MAiD is about more than being there for them. It is also about tending to your own needs so that you can walk this path with steadiness and compassion.
The Emotional Reality of MAiD
When a parent chooses MAiD, there are often layers of emotion that surface at once. There may be sadness, anger, relief, guilt, or even a sense of disbelief. Some families only have days or weeks to prepare once approval is given. Others live with the anticipation for months. Both situations can feel heavy in their own ways. It is important to remember that your reaction is not wrong, even if it shifts from moment to moment. Grief often begins before the death itself, and many people describe it as carrying two truths at once: love and loss together. Naming these emotions, and allowing them space, can make them easier to bear.
Supporting Your Parent with Presence and Compassion
Your parent’s choice is about their life and their dignity. One of the most meaningful ways you can support them is by asking what matters most to them during this time. Some may want to talk openly about their decision. Others may prefer to spend time in familiar routines. Listening without judgment, and following their lead, communicates respect and love. Small gestures can also carry weight: sharing family stories, looking at old photos, cooking a favorite meal, or sitting together in silence. The goal is not to fix the situation but to make room for connection in the time you have.
Caring for Yourself During the Process
In the middle of caring for a parent, it is easy to set aside your own needs. Yet this is a time when looking after yourself matters more than ever. Grief and stress take energy, and you will need ways to replenish. This might mean talking with siblings, close friends, or a counsellor who can hold space for your feelings. It could be as simple as journaling at night, taking short walks, or giving yourself quiet time in the morning. Some find it helpful to practice grounding strategies like noticing the details of their surroundings or focusing on steady breathing. None of these practices erase the pain, but they help you remain present. Remember that self-care is not selfish. It is a way of ensuring that you can show up fully for your parent.
When the Timeline Feels Too Fast or Too Slow
One of the challenges of MAiD is that the timeline is rarely what families expect. For some, it feels as though everything happens too quickly, leaving little time to prepare. For others, the waiting stretches out and becomes draining. Both experiences can be disorienting. It helps to name this tension rather than push it aside. Counselling can offer a steady place to process these feelings and to make sense of what the pace of events stirs up in you.
Moving Forward with Support
After the process is complete, the grief does not end. In many ways, it only begins to unfold. You may find yourself replaying conversations, wondering if you did enough, or struggling with the silence that follows. These are natural responses to an extraordinary event. Counselling can provide a place where you are not alone with those thoughts and emotions. It can be a setting where you begin to find calm within the chaos and where healing has room to take root.
If your parent has chosen MAiD and you are navigating this difficult time, know that support is available. You do not have to carry it by yourself. Reaching out for help is one way of caring for both your parent and yourself.
